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328 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·

Good Afternoon. I AM a dogaholic. I would like to
welcome all of you to this month's meeting of
"Dogaholics Anonymous." Some of you are here tonight
because a friend or relative brought you here. You may
be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you
really don't need any help. It is not easy to admit
that you are a dogaholic, and it is even harder to
bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to
assist you.

I have some questions to ask. If you answer YES to
more than three of the following, you have come to the
right place:

Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?

Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4x4 when everyone
else drives a real car?

Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for
the dogs?

Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to
shows, specialties and seminars when everyone else
goes on a cruise?

Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would

Make most doctors leave in disgust?

Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and
freshly washed tennis shoes? Is your interior
decorator R.C. Steele?

Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your

Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths
thrown over them?

Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIT, WC,

Is your mail primarily dog catalogs, dog magazines and
premium lists?

Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes,
Dog Shows, Seminars?

[but have trouble getting up for "work?"]

If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do
those pockets often contain freeze-dried liver,
Rollover or squeaky toys?

When you meet a new person do you always ask them what
kind dog they have and pity them if they don't have

Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you
remember their name? Do you find non-dog people

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is
still hope.

If you answered YES to two, you are in serious

If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to
the right place.

My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to
sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to
you, and know that your life will always be filled
with good friends and good dogs and it will never be
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6,038 Posts
Oh my .. I answered yes to more then 3
when and where is the next meeting ?
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